Third Verse, Different from the First
by LauralHilll
Summary: "I wouldn't have been able to stop myself...I so very nearly took you then... As if I needed another motive to kill you...If this ends badly...I am more dangerous to you than to anyone else!" The Twilight version of Groundhog Day. EPoV, mostly Canon.
1. Chapter 1

**Third Verse, Different From the First**

I sat on top of the biology table and stared stupidly at my fingers.

I had managed to kill every single person in the class in under thirty seconds, before drinking from Bella Swan. Her silent mind didn't allow me to know what she was thinking, but the last few students of whom I broke the necks were completely confused. One wondered if there was a gas leak causing people to faint.

After they were all taken care of, I went back to our table and gave her a predatory smile. Her eyes widened and her heartbeat sped up, but she was frozen as I put my hand on her jaw and leaned into her neck. Her scent crazed me even more; the bloodlust took over and I chomped down. She let out a mouse-like wail, but I hardly heard it as I pulled and gnawed, some part of me thinking that would let the blood out faster.

It didn't, of course, but I drank so fast that I hardly noted the last heartbeat in the room slowing to a halt.

Some of the blood had spurted out because of my chewing, and I followed the scent to lap it up. Off the walls. From the floor. Even cold it was still the most incredible thing I'd ever tasted before today.

Some of the blood had gotten on my hands, and I was about to lick them clean when I heard Alice's thoughts screaming at me. _What have you done? Why are you doing this?_

I groaned in disbelief, but I went ahead and licked my hands before Alice walked into the classroom.

"Didn't see this coming, did you?" I laughed, hysterical.

"You didn't exactly make a decision," she snapped at me. "When you did, it took less than a minute, and I couldn't get the hall pass till now."

"You're right," I agreed coldly. "I didn't choose this. She -" I nudged the girl with my foot - "she just smelled so - I couldn't resist."

Alice sighed. She and Carlisle were the only vampires to decide alone to stop eating humans, although in her case she had seen our family in her future. So, like me, she knew how - exquisite - human blood could taste. "She does smell pretty good. Well, she _did_. God, this is a mess, though!"

"I know." It was starting to hit me now, the guilt of having slaughtered an entire classroom full of children so I could get away with drinking one girl with utterly divine blood. "Gas leak?" I suggested, and was rewarded by seeing a vision of an explosion in her head.

"Close the windows," she said, turning on every pipe at every desk. I obeyed and waited for the room to fill up. It took a long ten minutes, during which I leaned against the window I'd closed and broke down sobbing. I hadn't felt like this in a long time, over seventy years since I'd last tasted human blood, but this was worse. I had had all sorts of justifications of what I was doing then, and it took time to realize I was no better than any other blood-drinking monster. But still, I had never acted purely on impulse. There had been _reasons_ to kill the ones I killed, beyond the desire to drink their blood.

"OK," she said. "Let's get ready to jump." She joined me at the window, not having bothered me during my hysteria, but now her hand was in mine. She texted every member of our family - _Problem in Ed's bio. Explosion cover story_ - and then squeezed my hand. "Ready?" she asked.

I sighed, wanting to stay in the classroom, but Alice saw that and sternly said, "We are going to get past this, Edward."

"Fine," I said curtly, and she pulled out a lighter. A Zippo, not a cheap disposable one. She bent down to the floor, where the gas was least massed, and flicked it on. The Zippo would stay lit as she flung it upwards, and as she did so we jumped through the glass window, shattering it milliseconds before the BOOM!

Alice called 911 then - it might have been less dangerous to call earlier, but this was about our family being safe now, not people - and told them that there had been an explosion coming from the science lab at Forks High. I could hear the other members of our family that attended coming around to find us, and I couldn't stand it. I threw my keys at Alice and ran home.

We ended up having to fake my death, since it was on record that I'd been in the classroom before the explosion, and there had been no other survivors. Carlisle aided in the autopsies to make sure there wasn't anything suspicious about them - and also, because there were so many. Twenty-four dead children, and the teacher, because I couldn't resist that damnable Swan girl's blood.

Something changed in me after that, and I didn't understand it. I went to Alaska for a while, hoping that distance would help. The coven there had eaten humans for ages, so they were fairly sympathetic to my guilt. Not that Jasper and Emmett weren't - Emmett had even eaten two women the way I had, faster than blinking - but I felt guilty making Jasper feel guilty, and I just couldn't be stand Carlisle and Esme's looks of concern and sympathy, much less Rosalie's sneers. Even Alice kept having odd thoughts that sent me running.

The Denali sisters, unfortunately, had a fairly predictable response to my predicament. Get rid of the guilt with sex. I turned down Tanya as I always had - the other two wouldn't even ask with her interested - and remembered killing twenty-five humans. I could remember every millisecond of breaking twenty-four necks, and the look in the Swan girl's eyes before I ended her life for good. I wish I'd been able to hear her thoughts - at the time it had been a blessing, but knowing exactly what people were going to miss helped you with the self-flagellation.

I remembered that the Swan girl was the only daughter of our police chief, Charlie Swan, although I didn't know much about him. I realized that was because his thoughts were muddled, a precursor to his daughter's blocked mind, not because he was stupid, which I'd thought when I first encountered him. He had been excited enough about his daughter joining him, though; he was probably devastated. And his ex-wife, her mother, she was probably equally distraught.

I forced myself to think of the parents of every other student, and Banner's widow, but my mind kept returning to brown eyes, wide with fear. Every time that image flashed in my mind I was frozen to the spot. It took three weeks since leaving Forks, a month since the accident, to be able to hunt normally. And even then, her eyes haunted me.

A month later and another coven came to Denali. Laurent stayed, intrigued by our vegetarianism, but the other two left. He was also intrigued by Irina, and Tanya and Kate and I began building a house for the two of them. Laurent told me, when he could pry himself away from Irina, that he'd met my family in Forks and had been fascinated by the idea of living in one place. My eyes hadn't gone completely honeyed, so he thought he was safe talking about how he didn't think he'd be able to stop drinking from humans. I pinned him and said, "Laurent, I've had one slip in the last century. One. And if I find out you've been killing people and hiding it from your mate, I swear to God, I don't care if it'll upset her, I'm going to rip your throat out. Oh, and if you didn't know before, I'm the mindreader they told you about."

I wasn't exactly welcome in Denali after that.

But when I went back to Forks, it all came crashing in on me again. I didn't exactly know what _it_ was, though. I was almost certain I'd worked my way through the guilt, except for Bella Swan. Well, that was almost understandable. I talked to Emmett about it during a hunt that took us to California one sunny day. He thought it was because she was the _reason_ I'd killed everyone else, so naturally I'd feel worse about that. He'd felt pretty rotten over his two - none of us liked being reminded of how strong the call of blood could be.

But Emmett had still only killed two people, not a room full of high school students. I hadn't even wasted time drinking from a single one but the Swan girl. And not a single one of _them_ made me feel as hollow as thinking of her eyes could.

I had been avoiding talking to Carlisle, but he and Jasper approached me one day. "I can't take you anymore, Edward," Jasper said gruffly. "Humans die, you know this. You've got to stop letting it take you over so much."

"It's not the humans," I confessed to them both. "All I see is Bella Swan's face before I killed her. I wanted her so badly, that's why I did it."

"There!" he cried out. "This isn't guilt, Carlisle, you were right."

Carlisle nodded gravely. "You can leave us, Jasper." Jasper did so after giving me another glare.

"I hate hurting him, but I don't know what I can do," I muttered.

"I know, Edward. Jasper and I were brainstorming, and he realized that the way I felt before I created you is the way you feel now."

I stared at him. "That doesn't even make any sense!" But he wasn't thinking of being alone, or watching my parents die. No, he was thinking of setting the leg of a human girl. Esme at sixteen, I realized. I'd known they'd met while she was human, but it wasn't something he thought of often. He was wondering what he would have done if her blood had called to him more strongly.

I barked a laugh. "As if anything would make you fall." He'd been a successful doctor for over two centuries. Medical school had been an incredible challenge for me; I'd had to hold my breath quite a lot.

"Perhaps not, but I wouldn't know," he said quietly. "Something else might have happened to her, though. Her husband could have killed her before I met you. I was very lucky."

I stared at him like he was insane. No, like I was insane. I probably was. He couldn't be implying what I thought he was, could he? "You think I ate my - my Esme?" I couldn't say _mate_. But just the thought made things slide into place, made the emptiness inside me slightly different to bear.

"We have no way of changing the past, but…" He hesitated. He was thinking of a book in his study.

"What's this book?"

"I found it in Volterra. In the castle. No one seemed to know what was in it, when I asked to keep it. Aro let me have books all the time." He was thinking of our treaty with the werewolves. "I'm going to call Billy Black."

"Why?"

"Because he's the shaman of their tribe now, and I think this book is magic."

* * *

"There's no way to bring someone back from the dead," said Billy Black gruffly. He, Harry Clearwater, and Quil Ateara had agreed to meet Carlisle and myself at the treaty line. He was flipping through the book. "At least not after this amount of time. Shame you didn't come to me sooner."

My heart sank. "There's no hope, then."

"Here, this one," he said, pointing, smiling. "This one will send a Cold One back in time. You can prevent her death. But you'll have to actually be able to hold back, this time."

I nodded eagerly. "What do we have to do?"

"First, there will be a new treaty, since obviously you Cold Ones cannot abide as we thought. The rest of you have to leave Forks. Not for twenty years, not for a hundred years, not for a million years. As long as the Lore exists in La Push, you will not _ever_ in Forks."

"And me?"

His grin was even broader. "You have to die."

Carlisle shouted, "No!" but I held my hand up.

"I assume you'll do the other things to make sure this actually works?" I didn't have to ask; he was somewhat amused I was going to have to burn to death, but he would keep his side: the bonfire would be blessed in a manner that my ashes - and essence - would be swung backwards to a time before I smelled Bella Swan for the first time. He didn't really understand the Multiverse theory, but in his mind, no one else would know what had happened but me.

"You won't remember anything," he added. "At least, not the way you normally do."

"More like the way I remember being human?" He nodded.

"Carlisle, help him."

Carlisle gave me a sickened look, and more sickened thoughts, but he did as I asked. They told him what they'd need - most of which could be found in the forest - and he ran off to find it all.

"Will I need to just stand in the bonfire whole?" I asked softly.

Black frowned. "If you don't think you can stand still, your maker will have to rip you apart."

I couldn't do that to Carlisle. "That's all right then."

It was concurrently an eternity and yet hardly any time at all before the stack of wood was ready. There was sage smoldering, which I held in my hands as I walked to the unlit bonfire. The three elders were chanting something. I tried to focus on anything but failed. I felt like a newborn again, every single thing was interesting. As in "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge", the onset of my death enhanced all my senses.

Including hearing Billy laughing when I finally caught ablaze.

The fire was quite painful, but at least the fire that ended my life was far faster than the burning that began this life.

* * *

_A/N: Oh yeah, I needed another multi-chaptered story. Especially one with no real plot to speak of. Anyway. Each chapter is going to show at least one way that Edward could have killed Bella in the first book. Fun fun fun!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Warnings: some homophobia, typical teenage posturing on both homosexual and heterosexual acts, not my own viewpoints in the least. Oh yeah, and another bloody murder. Lots of help from the unpublished _Midnight Sun_.  
**

**Chapter 2**

"You ok Edward? Your future got all dizzy for a second there," asked Alice after I kicked Jasper's chair. I said I was fine, although I had in fact felt dizzy for a second there, but I felt fine now. Same as ever.

As lunch wore on, I found that to my surprise, even I was intrigued by the new student. Normally I'd merely be putting on an act, but I actually couldn't read her mind. In almost a hundred years, I'd never met anyone whose thoughts bounced off, like a kid bouncing superball in a locked room. I heard Angela Weber's thoughts about her, at least - her guard wasn't like that, merely went around herself, not everyone near her. At any rate, I was able to find out that we had Biology together, so perhaps that would solve the mystery. Perhaps all I needed was a little time to break through. After all, I'd heard everyone else's thoughts since waking up as a vampire. Instantly. Why in the world would Isabella "call me Bella" Swan be different?

I settled into my desk - before anyone else had even gotten into the classroom. They slowly trickled in. Mike Newton was also hoping Bella Swan would be in this class, but for far more lascivious reasons. Fortunately, he also had "Lazy Sunday" going through his brain on repeat. It reminded me of the spring, when Emmett had gone nuts playing it for the family, not to mention watching every single video on the Lonely Island website. He even signed up for their email list, so he could be alerted for new videos. I did find it amusing, but I couldn't figure out why Emmett felt the need to watch all these things more than once. Maybe, as Alice sometimes joked, there actually was something wrong with his vampire brain.

Weber continued guiding Swan in, the former taking her accustomed seat while the latter needed to get Banner to sign her entrance slips. I strained as hard as I could to hear her thoughts while continuing to give off a studied air of nonchalance. The only seat of course was next to mine, which would be quite convenient. It was foolish of me to think so, that proximity might possibly aid my task, but -

And all my musings disappeared the instant Isabella Swan walked into the flow of the heated air that blew toward me from the vent.

In that instant I began to stand, trying to figure out how quickly I could get rid of the room of potential witnesses. I cared about nothing but the smell of the girl, hiding what must be the even more enticing blood beneath her skin. The burning in my throat was worse than it had been since I was a newborn.

She hadn't even finished taking the step while my predator-brain figured everything out, but then she attempted to sneak a glance at me. Her eyes showed shock, and my reflection.

This saved her life.

I stopped breathing and tried to remind myself that I didn't _want_ to be a monster. _I don't, I don't!_ I wailed internally. And then she _blushed_, by all that's holy. Fortunately I was already holding my breath. Still, being deprived of not one but two senses was antithetical to my nature. I squeezed under the desk, nearly destroying my side of it. I quickly evened it out to finish destroying the evidence of anything "freaky."

Bella Swan was completely afraid of me. At least, that's what I assumed her stiff and awkward movements meant, why she hung her hair in a curtain around her face on the side next to me. I couldn't read her thoughts, or smell any adrenaline fueling her - _don't take a breath!_ - but her heart rate had definitely sped up.

I was completely furious. True, I hadn't lost complete control and slaughtered all the members of the classroom just to get a taste of Swan's blood, but I almost had, and it would have been her fault. Why couldn't she have stayed in Phoenix? Why couldn't she stop _blushing_, for God's sake? As she wrote notes - no, she was practically ignoring Banner, she was doodling, normally that would have amused me, but nothing amused me right now - I could see her pulse jump on her wrist, her skin was so translucent. Even a human might be able to see it.

I tried not to stare at it.

Would the hour ever end?

Mike Newton had been watching us quite closely. _What the hell is wrong with that freak? He acts like Swan murdered his pet kitten and stuck a dildo in his ass or something. Haha, I bet he'd like that. Cullen is so in the closet it's not even funny. Only a faggot would ignore a cute girl like that, let alone act like she's diseased or something. I guess a guy like that wouldn't want to be near a girl any more than I'd want to sit next to a fag. Personal bubble and all. Well, whatever. She's really cute. Those lips - the way the bottom one is bigger than the top - they'd look damn good wrapped around my dick. Ok, that's it, I'll be late to gym, I'll walk her to her next class. Coach won't care too much, I'm too valuable on the basketball team for him to punish me outside of practice._

And on, and on. Newton's thoughts went around the themes of the disgusting acts he wanted to commit with Bella Swan, and how awesome he was, and how lucky she'd be to do such things with him. I supposed it could be worse - Jessica Stanley could be in this class too. Ugh.

I distracted myself by thinking of anything but the actual _act_. I fantasized about all sorts of strategies leading up to the _act_, but not the act itself. I also paid attention - more attention than usual - to people's thoughts. Angela Weber had always struck me as more compassionate and empathetic than her fellow students, but I'd had no idea before today how far that went. She was thinking about scheduling her homework around baby-sitting for her younger twin siblings, whom she positively adored even when they were being typical children. It was surprising to hear a teenager think about how she actually enjoyed being with her family.

Only once did Swan peek through her hair at me. I heard the hair rustling and was surprised into looking back at her. I was still feeling the hatred for her - I had not in the least decided to allow her to live, and I was angry about that - so she blushed again, and her pulse sped up, and - argh! So unfair!

But the bell rang and I was able to run outside before anyone else had to die.

Now, I could breathe. But the memory of her scent and my parched throat made me worry that I wouldn't be able to last another hour, even if I wasn't near her - I'd be close to humans. I felt as though all my inner reserves of strength had been worn down. So I hid in my car, although I did pay attention to Newton. He did indeed walk the girl to her next class, which, coincidentally enough, was also gym. They talked about me. She said she never spoke to me, so had no idea what his problem was.

Oh, this was bad. If something happened to the Swan girl, not only would Newton notice, he'd probably also point the finger at me. So that was going to be out of the question. Unless... a new idea formed. A rather perfect idea, actually. _Kill two birds with one stone. A Swan. Hahaha._

I called the front office. Like all vampires, I was a perfect mimic.

"Hello, this is Chief Swan. There's been an... incident. Nothing serious, but I'll need the Newton boy and my daughter. Could you have them paged? I'll be in the parking lot. No, it's not serious, I just need to talk to them both. I'm on my way right now, they'll only miss a few minutes of class. Thank you very much, Doris."

I ran to the gym building. Of course the page was for the two of them to go to the office - it's not like they'd say "Please go meet the Chief in the parking lot." They'd probably wait in the office till the cruiser arrived.

If they got to the office.

It wasn't long before they were outside, Newton still in his gym uniform.

"What do you think it is?" asked Newton.

"No idea. It can't be that serious, right? They said we didn't need to change so..." Not that Bella had changed, since she didn't have a uniform yet.

"I guess not. It's just weird, right."

I appeared out of nowhere. "It certainly is!"

"Cullen?" _What the hell?_

I held my hand out to the girl. "Hi, I'm sorry I was so rude last period, had a bit of a headache. I'm Edward Cullen." There was enough fresh air that I could avoid immediately leaping onto her, but she was a bit reluctant to shake my hand._  
_

"Uh, that's ok," she said automatically, finally holding her hand out. "Bella Swan. What are you doing here, don't you have class?"

"Yes, but I decided I'd rather make a prank call so we could all become better acquainted." I raised my eyebrows in the most lecherous manner I could think of.

_Oh no, he really is gay! Unless... _"Uh, what are you talking about?"

"I believe the French term is _Ménage à Trois_, _non_?"

I was still looking at the girl. She went absolutely crimson. "Are - the three of us?"

"Are you nuts, Cullen?"

I shrugged, still grinning. "I just thought she looked delicious, but then I noticed you looking at her, and I had a wonderful idea - why fight? I'm certainly more of a lover than a fighter," I lied smoothly. "Shall we meet at Bella's? I'll ride with you."

Bella was still looking at me like I was still scaring her, but now in a virginal way. So she said, "You can come over but I'm - I'm not promising anything."

"We can start with talking, that's fine, I won't do anything to make you uncomfortable." I surreptitiously pointed at Mike and tried, using body language alone, to get across the idea to her that I would be getting rid of Mike. Mainly by winking and shaking my head and rolling my eyes at his crotch. Bella finally smiled and practically skipped to her truck. She almost tripped, in fact.

Newton and I watched her go, although we were walking towards his car. Before we got there, he blurted out, "Are you gay or what? Uh, sorry, but you kinda started this."

I chuckled. "I do have, let's say, unusual appetites, but I think of girls in the shower, certainly."

"Is this something you've done with your, uh, adopted siblings?" He obviously thought there was no other way it would have occurred to me.

"I'm not interested in Little Mike, have no fear," I sneered. I looked around. The parking lot was free of any witnesses, so I simply leaned down and picked Newton up, throwing him over my shoulder and running into the woods before he had a chance to register that he should scream. My reassurances of heterosexuality had lulled him into a false sense of security, but now -

"What the fucking hell, Cullen?" I had dropped him to the ground; we were far enough into the woods that no one from the school would notice us at all.

"Sorry. You just fell for the wrong girl, Newton," I said, almost laughing, and then lunged for his neck.

"You said you weren't - oh Jesus Fucking Christ that hurts!"

I barely noticed him; I'd bitten at the precise point where the carotid artery, when opened, spurts so hard one barely need do any work at all. Especially when the victim (also known as the appetizer) was already lying down. Still, I kept sucking, and Newton was soon an empty husk. I didn't even get any blood on me.

I did remove my clothes before burying the body, though; you had to go pretty far down to avoid scavengers and such. But that wasn't a problem for a vampire, you just had to keep on going.

Less than ten minutes had passed since Bella had started her truck. Even with that behemoth, she'd be home fairly soon. I did a once over to make sure I was still clean enough, replaced my clothes, and gleefully ran to the Swan residence.

* * *

**_A/N: Damn, that ended up taking more time up than I thought. Mike just wouldn't shut up, you know. Don't worry, I'll get right to the point next time, and will attempt to have TWO Bella-killings to make up for it._**


	3. Chapter 3

_to recap: On Bella Swan's first day of school, Edward's initial plan to kill the biology class in addition to her goes swimmingly, but months later he still thinks he misses her. He talks to Chief (that's Quileute not Police) Black, who is a shaman and sends Edward back in time to prevent her death, in a ritual that burns Edward undead to un-alive. When he goes back, he has no actual memory of what happened but a feeling that he shouldn't murder the biology class. So he holds his breath during the class and listens to Newtons perverted thoughts. Then he takes his revenge._

_**Chapter 3**_

I felt fairly sated as I ran to the Swans' house. I hadn't had human blood in so long, that it almost felt odd not to have that burn in my throat. I figured I wouldn't have to kill Bella immediately, but as I got closer to her house, the scent of her began driving me mad once again.

I knocked on her back door, and she answered it almost immediately. "Uh, hey, Edward," she said, blushing immediately, which renewed the burn on my throat to the level it had been at during Biology. "Is Mike with you?"

I laughed. "I just said all that to get rid of him," I assured her. "I just wanted to talk with you, is that all right?"

"Um, sure." Her pulse sped up.

"Would you like to take a walk? I think there's a nice trail back here," I said, pointing.

"Yeah, let me just get my coat."

She got her coat and almost slammed the back door in her haste. I could hear her heart thudding in her chest. Like most females, she found me attractive, I supposed. It would have been nice to be sure, but even alone with her, I couldn't hear her thoughts.

Maddening.

We walked slowly into the forest. "So what do you think of Forks?"

She shrugged. "I used to come here every summer, but I put my foot down a few years ago. Charlie would meet me in California. I think that says it all, right?"

I was confused. "Then why are you here now?" The mystery was enough to stall me for now. Also, I wanted to get a little further out from her house.

"It's complicated," she sighed.

"I think I can keep up."

"Renee - my mom - remarried."

"And you don't get along with her new husband?"

"No, Phil is fine. But he's a minor league ball player so he's on the road a lot, and she missed him, because she had to stay home with me."

"I don't understand." I frowned. I really didn't. I understood most people, since I could read minds, and it was often like reading the same book over and over. But Bella didn't make any sense at all.

"She was unhappy without him. So I figured it would be better if she could go with him, and I'd just stay with Charlie. Who is also very happy to have me here."

"So everyone gets to be happy but you? That doesn't seem fair." I felt my phone buzz. Automatically counting the seconds since I'd last looked at it, I realized school had ended, and Alice would now be seeing the consequences of my decisions.

Bella, meanwhile, hadn't noticed the noise, and she laughed bitterly. "Hasn't anyone told you? Life isn't fair."

I took a deep breath, unable to bear it any longer. _What's the point of sniffing the bouquet if you aren't going to drink the wine?_ "No, I suppose not," I said. I stalked up to her, and she gulped and backed into a tree. Her pulse had slowed down a bit, but it sped up again. I couldn't tell if she was afraid or - aroused. I put my hands on her shoulders and she closed her eyes. I sniffed her again. "Dear God in Heaven, you smell torturous. I can't stand it anymore."

Her lips were pursed as if she was expecting a kiss, and I became curious. "There's something I want to try. Can you hold still?" She nodded, her eyes still closed, and I put my lips on her. I gently tasted her lips, and then her teeth, and her tongue. Her skin lit aflame once again as her heart thudded against her chest, and her hands went to my hair, clutching me to her, then she exhaled into my mouth. O, her breath! I froze and pulled back gently. "I asked you to hold still," I chided.

"Sorry," she breathed, her heart still pounding.

The frenzy that had boiled underneath me was taking over. "It's all right," I crooned, and licked her neck. She gasped. My lips and tongue had been cold against her mouth, but that was nothing to the feeling of the cold venom on her neck evaporating. And so I bit her, the same way I bit Mike Newton, the artery pulsing into my mouth as she cried out.

"Edward! What - it hurts!"

I barely heard her. _Thrum- thrum- thrum-_ her blood pulsed into my throat. It was almost too slow, so I began sucking, softly at first, but the taste was so exquisite I had to have more. She was pushing against me, her feeble human strength hardly registering against the flavor of her blood. I felt like I was floating.

"Please. Please stop."

Somehow that got through to me and I turned enough to look up into her eyes, my lips still attached to her throat but no longer biting or sucking. Her brown eyes showed fear and - disappointment? Her skin was even paler from the loss of blood.

"Why? Why are you doing this," she mumbled, and then her eyes closed again. The pumping of her heart slowed as well, so I had to start sucking at her neck again to get any sort of gushing blood into my throat. If I could have spoken, I would have told her - _Because the smell of your blood intoxicates me, like my own personal brand of heroin._

But I couldn't stop until her blood was gone. Even then I kept sucking, in hopes that there was some that I had missed. I bit down so hard my teeth came together, slicing open her neck. I spat out the skin and sinew and looked as her body collapsed from its position against the tree. Her eyes had come open again, and now there was simply the look of disappointment after the life had fled from her body. _No, after I had drained the life from her body._

She was still looking at me like I had insulted her, rather than killed her, and I couldn't believe it. I felt the contentment I had had from her blood dissolve into fire. It felt like I was the one who died, and I was in hell.

And then the lunch bell rang and I was on my way to biology class.

I felt incredibly disoriented and didn't know why.

I sat at my usual table before anyone else had even gotten into the classroom. They slowly trickled in. Mike Newton was thinking of Bella Swan, the new girl, parked in his car in an abandoned lot, and kissing him passionately. I looked at him and growled. He started, then sat down. _What the hell is Cullen's problem?_

Angela Weber was leading Bella Swan in. I concentrated on her but couldn't get her thoughts, at all. Everyone around me was familiar. No new voices. I heard her actual voice as she gave Banner her attendence slips -

And then she walked into the flow of the heated air that blew toward me from the vent.

Her smell hit me like a sledgehammer in Emmett's hands. But something else hit me, a feeling of déjà vu, like I'd experienced this before. The combination was enough to still me for an instant as Bella walked another step, a student on the other side of me flipped his book, and fresh air came to me. I remembered to stop breathing and simply stared at this horrible temptation as she came towards my seat.

When she saw my face, she stumbled, and I saw my reflection in her eyes. What she saw was not someone like Carlisle, but someone like I had been in the '20s. I had worked so hard to become similar to the former, rather than the latter, and here was someone threatening to break that control.

I concentrated on anything but the girl next to me. Banner didn't call on me once, so I didn't have to breathe at all, but not breathing was unnatural to me. I didn't have to breathe, of course, but being deprived of not one but two senses was antithetical to my nature. I nearly tore apart my side of the desk. I quickly evened it out to finish destroying the evidence of my display of strength.

Finally the torture ended. I ran outside and sat in the car, rather than risk another class. The cool, wet, clean air that drifted with the light rain through my open windows was like washing out my body from the infection of Swan's blood. I could still remember what it smelled like, but it wasn't pushing me to kill any longer.

I suddenly wondered why Alice hadn't seen anything. I focused on her thoughts, and she was still concentrating on Jasper. He'd had a bad moment during lunch, and she was worried about him still.

So no one knew. No one had seen me nearly slaughtering the entire biology class. And if I could avoid Bella Swan, no one would. I only had this class with her, but I didn't _have_ to. Besides, if I sat in the parking lot any longer, school would end and she might pass me again.

I walked a bit too swiftly across the school to the office, determined that I'd switch classes and never have to worry about Swan again. No one but Mrs. Cope was in the office, which was perfect.

She hadn't heard me enter, so I spoke softly. "Mrs. Cope?"

She looked up and her eyes widened. "Oh," she gasped, and smoothed her shirt. Her thoughts almost immediately turned perverse, but just as immediately she berated herself for thinking of someone so young in such a manner.

But she still fluttered her eyelashes as she cooed, "Hello, Edward. What can I do for you?"

She would never act beyond this sort of behavior, so it was a lot less uncomfortable than some of the female population of Forks High had made me. Still, I knew I'd easily get what I wanted from her if I tried to be charming. I leaned forward and met her gaze softly, as if I was the one hypnotized by her eyes. I used my least scary voice. "I was wondering if you could help me with my schedule."

The tempo of her heart increased and she repeated to herself how young I was. "Of course, Edward. I can - I mean, how can I help?" In her mind she was taking off my sweater and then - _too young!_

It was almost impressive, as if she knew I could tell what she was thinking. Rosalie should take lessons. "I was wondering if I could move from my biology class to a senior level science? Physics, perhaps?"

"Is there a problem with Mr. Banner, Edward?"

"Not at all, it's just that I've already studied this material..."

"In that accelerated school you all went to in Alaska, right." She pursed her lips and thought about how us Cullens ought to be in college already, and how some of the teachers thought we cheated to get our perfect scores. She supposed our mother tutored us. "Actually, Edward, physics is pretty full right now. Mr. Banner hates to have more than twenty-five students in a class -"

"I wouldn't be any trouble."

"I know that, Edward, but there just aren't enough seats as it is..."

"Could I drop the class, then? I could use the period for independent study."

"Drop biology?" Her jaw dropped as she wondered if it was that painful to sit through a class I already knew. Ha, if only she'd known I'd gone through med school twice. But now she thought it was Banner I had the issue with. "You won't have enough credits to graduate."

"I'll catch up next year." It was getting harder to use my human-soothing voice.

"Maybe you ought to talk to your parents about that?"

I heard the door open, but whoever it was didn't think about me, so I concentrated on Mrs. Cope. I leaned slightly closer and held my eyes a little wider, wishing I'd hunted a little more recently. Black eyes frightened people - as they should.

I made my voice sound like Emmett's trying to apologize to Rosalie. "Please, Mrs. Cope? Isn't there some other section I could switch to? I'm sure there has to be an open slot somewhere? Sixth hour biology can't be the only option..."

I gave her a smile women had found charming before, careful not to expose the bottom of my teeth at all.

Her pulse thrummed as she replayed me saying "Please, Mrs. Cope" in a far breathier voice, with no shirt on at all, holding her - _**Too young!**_"W-well, maybe I could talk to Bob - I mean Mr. Banner, I could see if-"

It took a second for Samantha Wells to open the door, put a signed tardy slip in the basket for that purpose on the table right by the door, and rush out again.

During that second, a gust of wind through the open door crashed into me.

And I realized, in that second, why the first person's thoughts hadn't interrupted me.

My hand grasped Mrs. Cope's hair without my even thinking about it. Her last thought was that I was actually _touching_ her, before I slammed her with enough force into her desk to kill her. This was far better than killing an entire classroom, I decided.

I spun around to see Bella Swan with her back pressed to the wall beside the door, a piece of paper clutched in her hands, her eyes wider than usual as she took in my ferocious, inhuman expression.

I took a deep breath. One last time to smell Bella Swan untouched. Mrs. Cope's blood was also perfuming the room, but it couldn't make my throat burn any more fiercely.

_No!_ screamed Alice's thoughts, but she was running at a human pace towards the office. I didn't care, anyway, and said gruffly, "Your fault. This is all your fault," as I approached Bella Swan.

Her eyes danced from Mrs. Cope to me. "You're - you're crazy," she whispered, and then she fainted. Obviously I had bludgeoned Mrs. Cope grotesquely enough to affect her.

Still, it made things easy. I lay next to her, wrapped myself around her warm body, and latched my jaw to her neck. Ecstasy, sheer ecstasy hit my tongue.

She woke up from the pain and yelled, "Shit!" and tried to struggle, but it was no use. "You _are_ crazy! Stop it! Let me go!"

I ignored her, but Alice didn't. She opened the door and took in the scene. "Edward, stop," she commanded as she locked the door. I growled at her. "Just stop, and she'll be fine," she said in that same stern tone.

She tried pulling me off her, but nothing could break me away from this fine ambrosia. Finally Alice lay on the floor an inch across from me, staring in my eyes with the most forlorn expression. "Please, just stop, and she'll be fine. Edward, _please_," she begged in a voice that sounded close to tears.

But I didn't stop till Bella Swan's heart did. Nothing less could have made me stop. Alice had begged me the whole time to just stop before I made a terrible mistake, and I could see hope dying in her eyes. I was slightly curious but not enough to cease draining the most delicious blood I'd ever smelled and tasted.

When Alice heard the last beat, she moaned and put her head down, just lying face down on the floor, her hands balled in fists. "She was going to be my _friend_, Edward!"

I pulled away and licked my lips to make sure I didn't miss any blood. "What was that?"

"If you'd just _stopped_, she would have turned and been my friend."

I snorted. "Sorry. Next time I kill a human, I'll stop so you can have a friend." I was still a bit giddy from the wonderful nectar of Bella Swan's blood. I normally wouldn't joke like that.

Alice was standing again, and pulled me to my feet. _Edward Cullen, what the hell happened to you?_

My jaw dropped as reality sunk in over me. "I - I don't know." I had killed two humans - two innocent humans - just to drink Bella Swan's blood? After spending two hours resisting? "Every time I scent her - it's just that bad - I almost slaughtered a whole room just for that - but I didn't, I was going to _switch_, that's why I came in here! I swear! But then she came in and - aaaaargh!" I screamed.

Alice's look of despair changed to confusion as I felt a new pain wash over me. The pain of guilt seemed like the fires of hell. "I see it changing," she whispered, and her eyes rolled to the back of her head.

The lunch bell rang, and I shook off a weird feeling of déjà vu as I headed to Biology.


	4. Chapter 4

"_You would have come."_

"_Without a doubt."_

_**Chapter 4**_

I couldn't stop staring at Bella Swan. The smell of her blood drove every other thought out of my head, but then I saw my reflection in her eyes. I saw my face, the face of a monster, and then in her other eye, Carlisle's face. The man I looked up to as my father, my role model, my hero. I wasn't anywhere at Carlisle's level, though I tried. Otherwise, I knew, I would end up slaughtering this entire classroom.

And I tried again. I held it together during biology and ran to my car instead of class. Any human smell would probably set me off. Alice hadn't seen my struggle – Jasper's moment at lunch was still on her mind, all her thoughts were on making sure he didn't kill anyone. And why should she focus on me? I hadn't killed anyone since returning to Carlisle and Esme in the late twenties.

So all I had to do now was avoid Bella Swan. I went straight to the office with the idea of switching my entire schedule around if I had to in order to get away from her. As long as I didn't have to sit right next to her, I thought I could endure. Maybe. Hopefully.

Mrs. Cope was easy enough to charm – her thoughts of me didn't hurt – but physics was full. I kept trying to win her over, but then Samantha Wells opened the door, put a signed tardy slip down, and rushed right out.

The wind through the open door hit my nose with the scent of Bella Swan.

_NO_, I thought to myself, and stopped breathing. It didn't matter. The smell was still there, and I turned and there was she. I was almost frozen, and used the last of my breath as I turned back to Mrs. Cope and said, "Never mind, I can see it's impossible." I gave the Swan girl one last glare and left the room.

I knew that if I hadn't held it together, I would have killed Mrs. Cope and the Swan girl. She would have merely been in the wrong place at the wrong time, just like Banner and his class, if I hadn't been able to focus. I was focusing on Bella Swan. She was going home to an empty house – the Chief was working all day today – and I could get her then. No witnesses, no other victims. Perfection.

Although now that I was outside, I was thinking a little more clearly. On the other hand, I didn't think I'd be able to go through today again. And again. Every day for the rest of the term. No, it was better to kill her now, than to have to deal with this. I threw my keys hard toward the Volvo, and could hear Emmett's thoughts as he caught them. He was wondering what the hell was wrong with me. He looked in the direction the keys had come from, but as I was downwind, and lying flat, he couldn't see me.

"Guess Edward's staying after school or something," he shrugged, and started driving everyone back home.

I was arguing with myself to get out of the truck bed, when the girl's scent hit me again. Flames coursing through my veins, my throat, nothing else mattered but sating this thirst. _Hold on_, I told myself, _till she's home._

To me it seemed the longest of rides. The truck was slow to start, and she let the heater run for a bit anyway, which intensified her smell. I crawled into a ball at the very end of the truck bed, nose pressed against the tailgate. The Detroit iron calmed me, but her smell was still leaking from the cab. I tried to picture the scene. I would ring her doorbell, ask if she'd like to come for a walk with me. I wasn't positive she would come, as I didn't know what she was thinking, but I had no reason to think I couldn't charm her, as I charmed any human I wanted, even the men.

Finally, finally her truck sputtered to a halt. She went inside, and I sighed. Her smell lingered in the cab, of course, but it wasn't quite as painful when it wasn't fresh. Not that it mattered – I hadn't fed in two weeks and any scent at all had been annoying, whereas this… this was hell. Pure torture. It was so difficult to focus on any other matter beyond quenching this unbearable thirst with the blood of Bella Swan.

I waited about twenty minutes. She had started preparing dinner, it was cooking in the oven, so she was doing homework. Or something. I could hear keyboard keys clicking and smell the charring of the repulsive human food. I decided to wait till she took the food out of the oven – it wouldn't do for the Chief to come home to a burnt casserole or whatever, that would be far too suspicious.

Time seemed to be crawling. I got out of the truck and dusted myself off. I ran around the house too fast for human eyes to see, fifty times. I reviewed the script in my head that would seduce and end Bella Swan's life.

And then I heard a beeping noise. She slammed a book shut and ran into the kitchen. I heard the oven door open and something being put on the counter, then the oven door closing and being turned off. I inwardly cheered, attempted to rearrange my hair, and walked to the front door.

"Hello, I'm sorry I was so rude earlier. My name is Edward Cullen, from your Biology class? I had a terrible headache, and I was feeling just awful. I'd like to apologize."

The very sight of me made her blush, it seemed, and the more I spoke, the redder she got. It was nearly impossible to restrain myself there and then, but I kept thinking about Charlie coming home to find his daughter as a corpse.

"Um. That's ok. I get headaches sometimes too," she stammered.

"And you're Bella Swan?" I continued, holding my hand out to shake.

"Uh, yeah." As she shook my head she frowned. Was my hand too cold for her? I had just been outside. "How did you know my name?"

I chuckled. "Everyone knows who you are."

"No, I mean, you called me Bella."

"Isn't that your name?"

She rolled her eyes. "Everyone else today called me Isabella, but I do prefer Bella."

_Oops. Mindreader trick nearly outed_. "Well, I'm unusually observant," I said. "Anyway, like I said, I felt terrible for being so rude to such a beautiful girl."

Ah, there was that blush again. I was almost getting to like the way it fanned the flames in my throat. "You – really?"

I nodded. "Why don't we go for a walk and get to know each other better?"

Her eyes widened. "Let me write Charlie a note."

She did so, as well as putting her dinner back in the oven to keep it warm.

We went out the back door, which was closer to the woods. She'd pulled on an extra coat, despite the fact that it wasn't actually raining at the moment.

"Not a fan of the cold?"

"Or the wet," she agreed.

"I can't see why you'd come to Forks then," I said, puzzled.

"It's complicated," she sighed.

I entreated her and she told me about how her mother had remarried a minor league ballplayer, and couldn't really travel with him while Bella lived with them, so she decided to make things easier for them. At the end of the story, I looked her in the eyes. "You're suffering more than you let anyone see."

She turned crimson and looked away. "What difference does it make?"

"None at all," I admitted. "Although it makes this easier," I told her just before sinking my teeth into her throat.

The sweetness was even more exquisite than her smell had been. I drank deeply, ignoring her struggles and mewling cries, till there was no more blood to be had.

She had died with her brown eyes opened, staring accusatorily at me.

In one eye I saw a monster.

In the other, Carlisle's face.

The lunch bell rang – it was time to go to biology. I felt rather disoriented as I walked off.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5**_

I spent Biology class thinking of various ways to slaughter the classroom, and not breathing in the devilishly perfect scent of Bella Swan.

I spent Spanish in my car, trying to figure out how to best avoid Bella Swan.

And then I nearly killed her anyway, her and Mrs. Cope.

Only the memory of two faces in her eyes prevented me.

In one eye, Carlisle.

In the other, myself.

I ran a bit too fast back to my car; fortunately only a couple of students were still around to take notice. The rest of the family was already there, waiting for me.

"Edward?" Alice asked, shocked.

As I shook my head, Emmett asked, "What the hell _happened_ to you?"

I started the car, ignoring everyone's questions, hitting forty before even leaving the parking lot. The others looked at Alice, who just shrugged, then consciously looked at my future.

"You're leaving," she sighed softly.

"Am I?"

We both saw that I had no real choice - if I stayed, I would without a doubt kill the Swan girl. I couldn't shake the feeling that I already had. Her scent called to me so strongly, I could easily imagine what her blood would taste like...

"Stop," I begged Alice.

"Sorry," she whispered, and her newest vision appeared. A road at night, flashing by at over one hundred-fifty miles per hour.

"I'll miss you, no matter how short a time you're gone." We were nearly home now. "Just drop us here, you should tell Carlisle yourself."

I nodded and hit the brakes. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper were dying of curiousity but would wait till I was gone to ask Alice.

Ever so softly she touched my shoulder and whispered, "You'll do the right thing. She's Charlie Swan's only family - it would kill him, too."

"Yes," I choked out - I could at least agree to the last part.

I flipped the car around and headed to the hospital - it didn't take long. Carlisle was alone in his office, fortunately, so I knocked on the door and walked in.

"Edward," he said aloud, something he almost never did around me.

I didn't bother with niceties. "The new girl has a scent that - I don't think it's a good idea for me to be around her. Alice concurs."

_He feels like he can't resist the call of her blood?_ "So you're leaving."

"Denali's probably the best idea. Can I take your car?" My car's tank was closer to empty, and I knew he had filled his up last night."

"Certainly." He pulled his key out of his pants pocket, and we traded.

"Tell Esme -" I hesitated, then shook my head. "I don't know. Make something up."

Carlisle nodded, then reached into his files to hand me one of my fake passports. "It'll be easier if you use this." We all had Canadian passports from our time in Alaska, after the first time our quick driving speed had nearly landed us in jail. Now we simply used the Canadian passports to enter Canada, and the US ones to enter Alaska or Washington.

"Thank you," I said, and we embraced each other. "Alice will explain any other questions you have. I hope to see you again soon, but -"

It's better to stay away than kill someone. "I know, son." We embraced for a long while, both of us wondering if this would be the last time we would be doing so.

I didn't want to take a ferry, but it was early enough that I could take the commute ferry from Port Townsend, which was preferable to hitting the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in commute traffic. Even though the SLK55 had a top speed over 150mph, and I was quite good at maneuvering cars from lane to lane, that did no good if there were no spaces to merge into. So the ferry it was. I called up to make sure I'd have space on the 3:45pm ferry to Coupeville - it was only a hundred miles from Forks, so I managed to arrive early enough to avoid annoying too many authorities. Since the ocean distance was a mere six miles, the slowest part of taking the ferry was waiting to get on and off, but even all that was under an hour. I knew of several ways to get to Denali, but most involved two or even three ferries.

I'd still have to deal with two border crossings no matter what, but I was taking SR9 instead of I-5. The road was smaller, but that meant there were fewer people. It was still a bigger deal than it had been before 2001, but I simply told the man I was going to a family reunion in Vancouver, and I gave him the address of a Hilton. The Canadian passport helped with that lie, and he waved me over. His thoughts were about spoiled teenagers thinking they could do whatever they wanted with Daddy's money, which would have made me laugh if I hadn't been so used to such.

Carlisle's car was faster than mine, and the gas mileage was comparable, but neither were exactly economy cars. Just before getting off Highway 1, I filled the tank up again, and for good measure filled up the spare gas can. It wasn't exactly a hardship for me to run out of gas, but I didn't really want to have to go out of my way if I didn't have to. As soon as the car was at half a tank, I pulled over and emptied the spare can into the tank. I was able to go a hundred miles past Prince George that way, and I did the same thing when I was near Smithers. So I had to stop at an actual gas station every 500 miles or so. That is, about every five hours. Still, I was able to cross the border into Alaska by six o'clock. The border-crossing this time wasn't so bad, but Denali was about 300 more miles, and I had to stop for gas one last time, so I didn't get to a good place to park my car before 3pm.

But that was that - over twenty hours of driving finished. Not that I grew tired, but I did grow bored. The scenery was different than the last time we'd driven over, but that had been the whole family. Besides, in January, inland Canada really did all look the same. White.


End file.
